Date: 2008-06-07 11:01 pm (UTC)
Not agreeing with you that it's crap, here, but I can see why you want to scrap it. I mean, I like the scene. It has potential. (I like anything with your grown up Ed, though, so, *shrugs*.) But maybe as another snapshot scene, as above. Not as a part of the chapter. Plus, this takes place before the end of chapter six, right? After Ed and Anya leave Roy's office? You use the jumping back and forth through the timeline in Magpie, and that works, but with STAF you've just plodded steadily ahead. Unless what Lana says is important to the overall plot, I'd cut this out.
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E.M. Witchwood

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